I play soccer. And i fucking hate it. After each practice and game when im taking a shower, I bawl my eyes out. People are always telling at me for not being good enough and then my parents tell em everthing i did wrong the whole ride home. I hate it. I dead it. Somethings that used to be my escape from reality is now my worst nightmare.
I thought wih covid and all, the season would get cancelled. But it hasn’t and we are starting up pretty soon. I don’t think I can take a whole other season of all this. So. . . each day I repetedly banged my wrist against the concrete floor until it eventually shattered. I told them that I fell while walking to get water in the middle of the night. and they believed me. I’ll be fully healed in about a month or so, but that’ll be when the seasons is over already. I feel like a weight is lifted off my shoulders. I’m so happy! They said my wrist will be okay, no permanent damage or surgery is needed so thats good. After this season ends, I only have on more season to go. Idk what imma do about that one. Maybe this time my ankle?
However, as i’m writing this out, I feel crazy. I know, I should just quit soccer but my parents won’t let me. “We spend all this money in you just for you to quit?” Is what they said when I even just suggested the idea. “Don’t you want to see us happy?” They also said.
Idk. . . I just . . . As much as im overjoyed right now, I can’t help to think i might be a little messed up.
anonSports September 16, 2020 at 3:46 am20