i can t

i dont think i can do this anymore. i'm trying but i'm just so burnt out and i can't at all. i love my bf very much but my overthinking gets the best of me and i want to stay alone forever cause i'm scared of marriage and being left alone in the future when we decide to stay together, but i want to be with him and love him very much. i can't do my school. it's just too much for me. i don't think i'll even get a job after university. i am not capable fo anything. I am such a disappointment. why do i regret every single choice i make? cant i just for once succeed in life? can i at least do what i want and not have to make any more sacrifices?????? i just wish sometimes if i end it, i'll be fine but it'll put others in pain [not that i'm ppl's fav or anything]. I'm scared of hurting ppl more if i .. and scared of disppointing ppl when i'm here. i honestly dont know what to do with me. i just want to .... give up but i can't. no matter how much i try, i just can't. I'm just so tired of everything and having to bear it all alone. i want to tell my bf all these and he tells me to tell him, but i've been putting up a strong front my whole life. it's hard for me to put it downa dn telling him makes me feel weak and not reliable and i will breakdown if i tell him and i hate ppl seeing me cry. I have no emotions, no affection, nothing. I'm just so ... such a space occupier in this world. anyways, have a great day ppl.

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tsubaki Other September 22, 2022 at 9:01 pm 1 0