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Don t chum the waters

Don t chum the waters

Don't go around letting people know that you have a big heart, or are helpful, or smart, and don;t let anyone else do the same about you, because you will just attract the worst people around into your life. They will use you up and throw you away, and run for the hills when you need them the most.

This is the twisted world we live in today.
anonymous Other September 29, 2020 at 12:53 am 2
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Not everyone is like that. You can’t blame everyone else if you don’t let people help to begin with. If people are running there must be a reason. Threats will make do that.
anonymous 1 month ago
"Threats will make do that."

Yes the threat of having to return the favor instead of just leaching off of someone.

But remember, it's cool to be an asshole who cops attitudes all the time and shits on people they feel is weak.
anonymous 1 month ago
"Not everyone is like that. You can’t blame everyone else if you don’t let people help to begin with. If people are running there must be a reason. Threats will make do that."

You really are a moron. You fuck me over and deny my request for assistance when I ask politely. You string me along and feed me bullshit. I get angry and you take issue with that. I offer ultimatums and you're right again and have just found another reason to victimize me. If the police don't arrest you maybe you'll find yourself acquainted with the fat end of a baseball bat. This shit is not going to continue into 2021. If the only option I have is to make some heads mangled messes then that is what I am going to do!

Go to prison, bitch... Or fucking die! I don't care which, but get the fuck out of my life!
anonymous 1 month ago
Unfortunately, you often have no way of knowing who is going to just use you until it's too late. In my experience, most of the people I've helped didn't deserve it.

This is why you need to be a hardass and not immediately believe every sob story you hear. Because everyone has one, and you can't be sure if it's even true or not.

Remember, you come first. Don't let people fuck you over.
anonymous 1 month ago
The trick is you have to accompany your kindness and capability and all the other good things about you with another good thing, rock solid, no apologies made, no fucks given, boundaries. The first time somebody asks you for something you can't do and be reasonably happy and comfortable doing it, tell them no. The first time somebody does or says something offensive, call them on it. it has taken me decades to learn this and really I am still learning how to put it into practice. But really, you can learn probably a good half of what you need to know about somebody, sometimes the only thing you really need to know about them, by saying no and sticking with it. Some people, the second you say no to anything, will blow the fuck up at you. The cool part of that is about half those people will instantly walk right out the door carrying on about there being something the matter with you, so although they make one hell of an ugly exit show, the trash does in fact take itself out. I don't know you but you sound a lot like me, and if you are as much like me as I think you are, you might have some difficulty with codependency. The cool thing is there are piles of books as high as the roof of most any building aimed toward helping those of us with codependent tendencies learn how to relate in a way that is not so self-sabotaging. There's even a program, Co-Dependents Anonymous, that's totally free to anybody who would like to join in and check it out.

The way other people behave and take advantage of you is not your fault, yet there may be things you can do to proactively defend yourself. Just like if somebody attacks you on the street it's not your fault, yet there are classes you can take and skills you can learn to be better prepared to prevent and respond successfully to that kind of situation should it arise.

Hang in there. It's a hard life full of unscrupulous people, and at the same time it can be a good life where we are surrounded by great people. You have to give people a chance, but if people botch their first chance, don't give them a second. move on and keep room in your life for truly good people who will value what you offer and reciprocate, instead of taking endlessly and without gratitude.
anonymous 1 month ago
"Alright, I'll do this for you, but if I get so much as a hint you are screwing me over, I'll break every bone in your body." - seems to work too.
anonymous 1 month ago
Not a thing wrong with healthy boundaries. Keyword is healthy. The boundaries you describe are not. People are hopelessly flawed and make mistakes frequently. You say if they make one mistake you’ll cut them off? You’ll end up very much alone. While you might cut off some bad relationships I guarantee you’d be cutting out good ones too. This whole culture of dropping people has gone too far. It’s easy for other people to say because they have no stake in said relationship. People don’t try to compromise or work things out anymore. If the relationship is clearly abuse leave of course. But if the person is just flawed and makes dumb mistakes but will do anything to help you, time to weigh the pros and cons. Putting people on a one mistake ultimatum is setting them up to fail. That’s not real friendship. Expecting them to be constantly at your beck and call is also not real friendship. Understand that people are their own entities.
anonymous 1 month ago
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