An apology for two

Like the title says, my apology is for two people. I was hoping to treat this as more of an anymous confession than a rant. I have learnt my lesson but I do not deserve forgiveness.

Dear Person 1, I cheated on you. Since telling you those months ago, I have done my best to fix these bridges and become a better human being. I know that I told you why I had no idea why I did these things but that was a lie. I cheated on you because I felt like you had no time for me. I continued to flirt becuase it was an addiction and my high was attention. Thinking back the problem wasn't with you, it was with me. I thought I wanted more than what I had but it was acutally my insecurity of not feeling wanted. I truly am sorry for what I did, it kills me inside when I see you cry over this. I feel helpless even though I am the cause of all this pain. I am sorry, I will make it up to you even if it takes me a lifetime.
I love you.

Dear Person 2, the person I cheated with. We had a great friendship that I ruined. Admittedly, it is both our faults. But I cannot blame you for my actions. I used you to fill a hole without taking into accounts of your feelings. So many people in the past have hurt you, and before all this I thought I could be the shoulder for you to lean on and suppot you through friendship. I used you, at that time you gave me a fix of what I thought I needed and left you behind. To this day I still bring nothing but pain to the table. You deserve much better than what I used you for. I know there is nothing I can do to fix this but I think it is best if I stay out of your life.

To you both, I am sorry about ruining the start of the year and breaking both your hearts. It was and still is my fault. And if somehow ever find this I am sorry all the same. It will take time but I will mak ammends and become a better person. For thos who are reading this, feeling the same thing. It isn't worth it. Sure, you're happy now, but that is all temporary. The payoff is not worth it and people will get hurt. It has been almost a year and still affects our relationship.

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J Relationships October 17, 2020 at 10:25 pm 2 1