I miss my brother

I miss my brother so much it hurts. He should be turning 19 this year why can’t he. I’m not ready to be older than him he’s always been my big brother even if it was just a year how is it possible that in a couple months we’ll both be the same age. How am I supposed to go through the rest of my life without him. Some days I can’t even walk past his room without wanting to throw up and others I can’t sleep without hiding in his bed. I’m so scared of my first birthday without him here our parents were going to throw a big party like they did for him but I can’t do it not without him. Everyone says it’ll get easier but I just feel worse and worse each day I wake up without him. I feel like I’m drowning and he’s not there to pull me out. I know I couldn’t have changed what happened but why couldn’t he just come straight home. I used to hate being “James little sister”at school but I hate being the dead guys sister more. I hate seeing his picture framed in the trophy case like that’s enough. I’ve never been this angry and I’m so scared it’s not even at the person who took him I think I’m angry at him. Why can’t he just yell at me for using all the hot water again. Why did I have to go get his diploma for him. Why is there a stupid picture frame where he should be at every event. I want to claw my eyes out to avoid seeing a world he’s not in.

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Elizabeth Home May 07, 2024 at 3:17 am 0 0